Cracky McCrackFic for Xanthe
by ellenscult
Summary: Most of the team are reassigned under a new director. Complete crackfic. Blame sleep deprivation.


Sleep deprivation has a wonderful effect on my brain – it means it will take the oddest of suggestions and run with them, resulting in stories like this... *headdesk*

I was looking back through xanthe's tumblr, thoroughly enjoying her posts, when I read this ( xanthewalter .tumblr post/ 24276656129/ interview-with-gabriel) and this( xanthewalter. tumblr post/ 24182646127/ gmacht-suits-s2-aaron-korsh-inteview-okay). And I thought, HELL YES! And then this happened: Cracky McCrackFic, for xanthe. Because she's utterly awesome!

* * *

Gibbs trotted down the stairs from the director's office with an odd look on his face. Vance leaned on the railings above and settled in to watch the show.

"What did the Toothpick want?" Tony asked, pausing in his game of office basketball. He launched his paper ball across the bullpen towards McGee's wastebin as Gibbs spoke.

"Better grab a box and start packing. You too, McGee. We're being reassigned." He produced a box from somewhere behind his desk and began rifling through his drawers for his personal effects, while his junior agents stared at him. Tony pulled out a box from behind the filing cabinet, and with only a raised eyebrow, did the same.

"Want to tell me where we're going? Or do I have to guess," Tony said, dropping his Mighty Mouse stapler into the box.

"Tell you later," Gibbs said, slamming his drawer shut. "McGee! Get a move on, we don't have all day."

"What about me? Am I not also being reassigned? They cannot send me back to Israel now, I am an American citizen!" Ziva leaned on her desk, her dark eyes flashing.

"Nope, you're staying here as the new head of the Major Case Response Team," Gibbs said. "Congratulations on your promotion." He picked up the phone and pressed a button. "Ducky, you heard, then. Get Abby and meet us downstairs in ten minutes."

He grabbed his box, and crossed over to where Ziva was still watching them all, her incomprehension visible plain to see. Gibbs held out his hand. "Been nice knowing ya." They shook hands, then Gibbs turned to the others. McGee! DiNozzo! You coming?"

"On your six, boss," Tony said, tucking in happily behind the older man. Mickey tagged on behind them, and the procession entered the elevator without a single glance back.

Downstairs, Abby, Jimmy and Ducky joined them, each with a box in their arms. They made their way down the road, like a mother duck leading her ducklings to the pond for the very first time. A block further on, Gibbs turned right and crossed the road, heedless of the traffic. His ducklings scramble to keep up with him as, with a screech of tires and a squeal of brakes, the cars came to a swift halt, the drivers inside honking their horns and cursing loudly.

Heedless of the chaos he caused, Gibbs led his little team in through the front doors of another building. He paused outside the coffee shop that took up half the ground floor. Heavenly smells of coffee beans and freshly baked pastries wafted from the open door on which a sign proclaimed _20% discount for employees working in this building_. "Ducky, Jimmy - your morgue is in the usual spot. Abby, you have a bigger lab, but don't worry, it's all yours to play with. And it comes with surround sound built in for your music." The scientists beamed and headed for their domains in one of the elevators, leaving the agents to ride up to their new bullpen in the other.

It resembled their old office in almost every way, except for two important differences. The walls were a sunny yellow, not that off-putting orange; and there were only three desks in the area of the bullpen to which Gibbs led his team.

"All right, boss, wanna tell us now what's going on?" Tony asked, dropping his box of stuff onto one of the desks.

Gibbs grinned. "The Powers That Be decided we needed a new set. The old one was getting kinda grubby. They're starting a spin-off series called NCIS: Ziva, using the old set. It's going to be on late-night cable only." His grin widened.

"And us?" McGee asked. "What are we going to do?"

"What we always do," Gibbs said. "Catch the bad guys."

"Any other changes we should know about?" Tony asked, unpacking his things and putting them away.

"Yeah. Since DADT was repealed, some of the fraternization rules have been relaxed for civilians. So we can wear our wedding rings to work."

"Oh, thank God!"

McGee watched as the two men fished their wedding rings out of their wallets and gave each other a smoldering look. "So does that mean we'll get some decent plots and dialogue?" he asked. "And does it mean Tony can stop acting like an overgrown idiot? Because I gotta tell ya, that got old four seasons ago."

"You think that's when it got old?" Tony asked, incredulous. "For me, it was the very first episode! I mean, come on, I worked for Gibbs for two years before Kate was hired, and before that I worked my way up through three different police departments. Have you any idea how much training I've gone through? Cos I could pretty much write the handbook on sensitivity training and harassment, let alone the others! But is any of that ever taken into account? No!"

Gibbs walked over to his husband and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Tony, I know who you are, and what you're really capable of. Things are going to be different around here now."

"Cool! Guest stars!" McGee exclaimed happily.

"No more keeping secrets," Gibbs nodded. "No more tearing the team apart for no reason whatsoever."

"So, does that mean Vance won't be joining us?" Tony asked hopefully.

Gibbs shook his head. "Turned out Ducky knew someone who'd be perfect for the job." He looked up at the mezzanine floor above, where a blonde haired woman stood watching them with a fond smile on her face. She was wearing a smart purple suit and on either side of her sat a sleek Siamese cat.

Gibbs nodded an acknowledgement, a gesture of respect. "Your new director, Xanthe."


End file.
